Rifkin Consulting Report

By Diane Rifkin, Esq.

There are numerous factors that influence relationships, many of which are under-appreciated and neglected.  Too busy to attend seminars on business development?  Short of extra cash to spend on professional coaching sessions? Here are some simple ways that you can maximize opportunities to connect with people.   

1. APPEARANCE: Most people recognize the importance of a first impression – one’s physical appearance is the first thing that others notice.  Casual dress codes at work make it very tempting to occasionally push the limits on what is acceptable to employers, clients and colleagues vs. what’s respected.  You may be planning to work in your office all day and think that no one will care that your Dockers are wrinkled or your shoes aren’t polished…but if a surprise visit from a client interrupts your plans, are you prepared to make a positive impression? It’s not being superficial to recognize that a well-groomed appearance is indicative of your self-worth, and is a significant factor towards directing attention to what you say – not how you look.  When things are working well, attention is turned to content.
2. NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION: Factors such as body language, posture, eye contact and nervous habits detract from connecting with others – particularly during a meeting or conversation.  It’s well-known that behaviors such as looking another directly in the eye, standing squarely facing a person when conversing, a firm handshake and using good manners go a long way towards commanding positive attention.  While the subject of manners might seem simple or even outdated, it’s actually as relevant today as it was centuries ago!  Sometimes manners need updating – so don’t assume that they don’t matter.  People will notice.  This includes not just scenarios about how you eat at a restaurant, but can also be evident with how we treat staff and other people who are important to our daily success.  Not long ago I heard a speaker comment that good manners are like a mirror, showing others what it would be like to work with you and also differentiates you from others.  This speaker also opined that good manners are the great equalizer – they are our social passport.  Good manners cost you nothing – bad manners can cost you dearly.
3. THINK BEFORE SPEAKING OR ACTING: In today’s world of technology and our reliance on email, this also includes thinking before you write!  We are all aware of the import of the words we choose.  Email is innately impersonal, requiring a special effort to communicate accurately and effectively since we can’t see the other person’s face or ask for immediate clarification if we don’t understand the content or tone.  The result can cause one to speculate about all sorts of things, reading far more into the written word than was intended.  Extensive use of email makes it easy for some people to prefer this method of communication, which over time can make them feel less comfortable in face to face settings.  Clearly using good grammar and avoiding profanity or socially offensive terms is advised….but choosing words that convey consideration, respect and honesty are also invaluable to help another to believe that you are really listening to them and value the relationship.
4. BE RESPONSIVE:  It’s so difficult at times to return phone calls when we have deadlines or want to focus our energies elsewhere!  We may need to organize our schedules to accommodate returning calls or responding to emails or other requests.  I recently heard a speaker discuss various ways to organize email throughout the day so that those requiring a timely response don’t get overlooked.  One suggestion was to have an Outlook folder for “pending business” where these get immediately stored, to be routinely viewed at the end of the day at a specific time.  Many people do this same thing with returning phone calls at the end of every day, unless an urgent response is required sooner.  Whatever method you choose, you score because the person awaiting a response will know that you are reliable and accessible, and your day won’t get constantly interrupted with matters that can wait until the end of the day.  You can accomplish so much more and also be known as a responsive person…a win-win!
5. RECOVERY:  We all make mistakes.  Recovery is critical to restoring and maintaining good relationships.  Perhaps an apology is needed…or you may need to make a direct inquiry to a client who seems distant or dissatisfied to inquire whether something you’ve done has been problematic…face it head-on!  Your reputation and chances to influence the relationship are at stake.

In sum, in order to make the best connections with people and maximize your chances to get the best referrals, we must pay attention to our behavior(s).  How nice to know that our most effective tools are free and easy!  Business will go to the person who can connect the best.

At Rifkin Consulting, personal service and uncompromised integrity are the foundation upon which we base our reputation.  Visit www.rifkinconsulting.com to learn more about our services and read candidate’s testimonials.